Roller Coasters

(Sigh!)
I seem to be doing that alot these days. I cant seem to make up my mind on what emotion I will have for the day.
Its a roller coaster...

*starts to sing* (Emotional Roller Coaster by Vivian Green)

~Im on an emotional roller coaster
~Loving you aint nothing healthy
~Loving you was never good for me
~But I cant get off...

I think too much and I reminesce way too often about my ex. I still find myself smiling when I think about the good times. Is that wrong? I still sometimes wonder what would have happened if I fought or if he made an attempt not to just throw my heart against the wall and watch it break in a million pieces. Its been too long since the breakup, I must get over it. Move on. I cant say I havent tried, but its kind of hard to find someone these days. Especially when you have realized your value and raised you standards. I refuse to settle for anything! *nods with firmness* I guess thats why im still single. Oh well, good things come to those who wait, but dammit.

Wait, wait, wait.

That was the love roller coaster...
Now let us jump on the stabilty coaster. I am in school for nursing. *pats self on back* I tend to surprise myself on how smart I really am. But I still get scared about whether or not I will finish my schooling and get my license. I have periods of determination and hope, which end with doubt. (hence the roller coaster analogy) I dont think I'll be able to make it on my own in the real world.

Is that pathetic? I think so.

Will I be able to have a real career? Maybe not.

Maybe I should take it one step at a time, day by day, and hour by hour. Writing this is depressing I need to think more happy thoughts. Hmmmm....like getting an orgasm!! :-D

Amazement!

Today I found out that my ex boyfriend just had a baby! I found out through facebook. He was born sometime in January. Can you say shocked? We broke up 13months ago! The reason being he wanted to sow his royal oats...And I guessed he planted a seed.

Why do I care you guys werent togther u ask? Well if you are told you dont want to be in a relationship at all with anyone then find out 3-4 months later they have a girlfriend you start to question yourself. So now I know the real reason.

Did I forget to mention that we had sex while he was in this so called relationship? Well we did. I even asked him if his girl wasnt servicing him properly. Typical answer "You do it better." Real answer she is pregnant. (Now that I know the real reason)

But you know what I have no hard feelings I am happy for him. I even went as far has to tell him congrats and also told him his son is adorable.

The surprises that life can bring you are plentiful!